Wasteland Asshole

I am at work patiently waiting to hear that my collector's edition of New Vegas has arrived before taking off early to go home and play it, so I will write about other shit til then.

I'm pretty naturally inclined to play good characters and am generally helpful to the people I meet out in the Wastes, even though I always answer them rather sarcastically and I myself sit on the couch rolling my eyes and groaning at these people's goddamn requests.

"I GUESS I will untie this wastelander that these Super Mutants were gonna mutate or whatever. Oh he's got Squirrel Stew for me, THANKS A LOT ASSHOLE HAVE FUN DYING SOME OTHER WAY!"

Karma noticed if I did something nice like that or if I did something mean, like killed a good guy. What karma never noticed was how intentionally annoying I tried to be to other people. Oh your desk has lots of stuff on it? Now it's all on the floor, and I am standing on your desk and jumping up and down yelling at you.

I would go into people's houses and just throw all of their belongings on the floor, while they told me to "be more careful" or to watch where I was going. Oh I'm watching all right. I'm watching very closely.

My favorite person to annoy was the scribe that works at the purifier in the DLC Broken Steel. He is perpetually exhausted and already perpetually bothered. You can even say to him that you had a question but forgot what it was. I would do this to him, REPEATEDLY. I would wait for him to fall asleep at his desk and then wake him up to tell him that I forgot what I was going to ask him. I would go outside his office to all his other scribes and talk to them so that they would all say the same thing in near unison.

One day I notice that he has a Nuka-Cola and a Mirelurk cake on his desk.

His LUNCH.

So, I hit a Stealth Boy and stole them.

And then I didn't even eat that Mirelurk cake. I took outside and dropped it in a puddle. It is still there.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA